This is how I feel about having kids:

This is how I feel about having kids: “If you can’t beat fear, just do it scared.” Actually, I think the more correct statement would be that I fear the act of making a baby. Not the sex, but the unprotected part. I mean… gah could you imagine the feeling of “holy fuck, we might have just made a baby.”I think I might cry honestly and need my hubby to hold me for ten years. What’s kind of hilarious about all of this is that I want kids, like…desperately. In a very severe and serious sense, I want kids. I have been a nanny for two families now, which basically means I mothered 7 children in the past year. I know the responsibility, the sleep deprivation, the trials that you face as a parent…but I also know all of the joy, laughs, snuggles, pride, and love that comes with it, too. Having kids is my dream of dreams and having one of my own doesn’t scare me at all. I feel like since losing my own babies, I’m beyond prepared for motherhood and if I’m not prepared then I at least can’t wait to take the crazy journey, and sometimes I think I can appreciate the gift that it truly is more than other people. Whether that’s really true, only God knows…So, what’s up with that? Why am I afraid to have unprotected sex, but am dying to have a baby. All advice welcome…💜


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