I’m not sure if I didn’t want to put myself together again or if I just wasn’t sure how. It’s scary completely leaving anything that’s a part of you. The darkness, my darkness, my sadness, was something I had never lived without. Who am I without it? Would I like myself better or would I be thrown into this world completely unshielded? That’s what my sadness had become. My shield. Nobody wanted to hurt the sad girl. Or so I thought. But breaking out of my dark place, I realized it was not what I thought it was. I was holding myself back. I was breaking myself down. What I thought was my protector, was my biggest weakness. Looking back, I realize that I should never have made the darkness my friend. It still tempts me. There are still weak days.
But never again will I let it in.