Just wanted to post a quick update on my life because I know my last “mental breakdown” post wasn’t exactly comforting.
So, the reason I was freaking out was because… well, remember in January when I got falsely diagnosed with herpes that turned out to be staph? Yeah, well it started to happen again 4 weeks ago and, logically, I lost my fucking mind. I called the doctor ASAP and she refused to give me the medicine, so I had to go into the doctor’s office for an “exam”, which seriously left me feeling like I’d been raped all over again. Now, please, don’t get me wrong… those types of exams shouldn’t be traumatizing, but because I wasn’t mentally ready and was forced by circumstances into that situation, it was, of course, unbearable. I believe everything in life teaches us lessons and what I learned from that whole ordeal was the importance of being ready. Being ready is what tips the scales to “faced a fear”, rather than “got traumatized again”. Anyway, they run tests and she says it’s staph and gets me on antibiotics. Things are starting to get better and 3 days later I leave for Europe to see my fiancé, AKA Jason (yes, the writer). We reunite for the first time in six months and it’s wonderful and perfect, but the antibiotics start to not work as well. So, I go online and check the test results, which had just come in, and found out it wasn’t staph; it was E. Coli. The doctor is trying to figure out a way to get me the new antibiotics and we go to three European clinics and a pharmacy and no one will give me the medicine. The only option is to send it over from America, but my dad doesn’t want to spend the 200$ to ship it over here in order to keep me healthy 😑. Yeah, nice, right? Well, honestly, God truly blessed me because all of a sudden I just started to heal and get better and now I’m fine! God is really good.
Next, I quit my nanny job because they were being super demanding and not paying me for the extra work they were making me do and I needed more free time to spend with my fiancé, my family, and to get my creative things done (like this), anyway. So, I get back from Europe on Sunday and have an interview with a new family on Monday. Working 3 days per week, I could get paid just as much, or more, than I was making working 5 days per week. Please pray that if this is what God wants for me that this will work out 😁
I got a call 2 days ago, at 1 a.m. I might add, from my manager saying that we are going to start heading into the final stages of releasing my music album!!!! Fuck yeah! 🤘🏻So, obviously, I’m just a….. A LOT excited! I’m also a little nervous because that means that my new job, wedding planning, and my album will all hit the fan at once. But they always say, “When it rains it fucking pours”. Well, maybe only BMTH says it that way 😂 At least at this point it’s raining good things!
My time with my fiancé has been AMAZING! Seeing Europe from the point of view as an American has been very interesting. I like how open they are here about cursing, sex, religion, and politics. It’s refreshing, honestly. Also, I got to drink alcohol for the first time since the drinking age is 18 here. What am I going to do without vodka and rum in America. FOR REAL! 😫 Death and Despair… that’s what it will be like. But on the plus side, getting to cuddle with my fiancé all night and not be judged or ridiculed or given speeches about the indignity of it all was so nice. Jason’s family is so cool and they truly made me feel like I was one of them already! I’m going to miss this beautiful country and some of its ideals and, most definitely, JASON! But I do have to say that I’m really missing American food and that I can’t be too sad about going home because I have so many exciting things waiting for me, including getting back into the swing of posting on my life’s work, this blog! 💜
Now, aren’t the new writers AMAZING?? I’ve had some time tonight to go through and read some of their writing and they have honestly exceeded all of my expectations. So, to all of the writers, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for keeping the encouragement going while I’ve been on vacation. I can see how much you’re impacting my followers and I love all of the new points of view!
Before I go, just a little novel update. Remember when I said I was thinking about writing a novel about silence? Well, I am. I’ve already started writing it and it’s coming along quite nicely. It’s going to be young and wild, but also profound and though-provoking in an introverted way. Most importantly, though, it’s going to be honest… no lies, no sugarcoating, no tearing the bandaid off quick. I’m going to make people feel… and they’re going to feel a lot.
Thank you so much for your unwavering support for me and the No One Heard My Screams brand. You’re love at its finest. 💜