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You see, I was once (and still sometimes am) reckless and energetic. These traits have earned me no small amount of cuts, scrapes, and burns. Some of these have left lasting scars.

The biggest and deepest scars are from when I was a wee lass, climbing trees and running over rocks and making stupid decisions on scooters. Most of my recent scars are either from acne or burns. They seem so small compared to the scars of my youth, that I tend to discount them, but they are still scars: proof of survival, proof of pain, proof of strength.

I’m proud of my scars. [because I think they make me look like a badass] Even the ones that came from me being extremely stupid. (which is all of them). They show that I lived a life full of mistakes and memories.

But when I think of the scars on my heart, on my mind, on my soul…

I realize that I haven’t considered those in a long time.

You see, I was once (and still sometimes am) optimistic and naïve. These traits have earned me no small amount of pain and heartache. Some of those experiences left scars.

The biggest and deepest of these are from when I was a wee lass, loving everyone and believing in the goodness of mankind with all my heart, even when the circumstances were out of my control. Most of my recent scars are from screwed up relationships (both romantic and platonic), and I will be the first to admit that I had a hand in a fair number of those.

But those recent scars seem so small compared to my traumatic loss, that I only just recently realized that some of them still haven’t healed.

My inner scars are more than memories, they are lessons. They remind me that I am human, as are those around me. They teach me how to guard my heart, even as I wear it on my sleeve. They teach me to take responsibility for my actions and my actions alone: if I did anything that even VAGUELY resembles my very best, if I at least TRIED to make the right decisions, then I did all that I could, and I am not at fault for the actions of others.

Scars are not shameful. They are proof of growth, of pain, of strength, of survival. They show that you are one crazy mofo who won’t let anything stop you, not even yourself. You are a beautiful badass, and no one can say otherwise

Because You have

The scars

To prove it.

Here’s hoping I don’t have to censor myself too much

~Snoopy

 

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