About The Contributor: Ariana 

Hey guys, my name is Ariana. Here’s a little about me so you can get a feel of who you’re talking to. I’m 20 years old, about to be 21. Oh boy. I literally just got engaged less than a week ago to the love of my life. And to top it all off, I have a five year old son who has got the world at his fingertips. So I can say I’m pretty blessed and always grateful. 
Lord knows my heart hasn’t always been so full. I grew up with a half brother and half sister who moved out of the house when I was still fairly young, so technically I guess you can say I was an only child. I was lonely, and had too much time to think. Yes, I do believe there is such thing as too much time for thinking. Because you know what you do with too much time for thinking? You think too much. I remember coming home one day when I was about eight years old and my mother sat me on the bed and told me that she was divorcing my daddy. It’s weird because I don’t even remember some things that happened this past week, but something will always let me remember this exact moment. I remember the way the sun was shining in the room, and I remember the positions we were sitting in, and most of all, I remember thinking that it was a joke at first so I laughed and laughed until my laughs turned into frantic crying. That’s when things started to go sideways. Things were different. My mom got married not long after to a man I wasn’t too fond of AT THE TIME. There’s that. 
During the divorce, my mom didn’t dare try to take my dad and I away from each other. My mom worked nights and so she slept a lot during the day, which mean’t my dad and I were together most often. I respect her so much for not making me choose between them. But this also means I was a girl, and a girl going through girly problems having only a dad who could never understand. We started fighting and having issues, and I would literally tell him and everybody else that I hated him. Which just breaks my heart into pieces now that I am a parent, myself. I still don’t know if I had actual reasons to dislike him or I was just a hateful person at the time considering where my heart and mind were at. I could never sleep at night so I would stay up super late and my nights always ended with me crying in the bathroom trying to hurt myself. And nobody knew. I hated myself. By this time I was in middle school and you can only imagine how cruel middle schoolers are. Rumors all day every day about everybody and everyone. Yeah, rumors are just rumors, but in middle school, everybody believes anything they hear so it’s as if it might as well be true. It was a very dark time in my life. I turned to getting into sex chat websites on the computer after dark just to feel some type of affection. Some type of interest in me.. somebody to pay attention to my feelings even if it was wrong. Let me tell you, those chat rooms were not somewhere for a child to be. Finally, in 8th grade, I met a guy and it’s like we were two grown adults in love… or at least we sure thought we were. We were together a few months, and I got pregnant. Let me tell you, two kids that young with so many emotions and hormones, not to mention, the responsibility they had coming their way… not pretty. I was just a girl ,who, while everybody else around me still had cute little cheerleader bodies, was going through drastic body changes trying to maintain a self esteem, and a young boy who never thought about the consequences of his actions, just wanting freedom again, but is now dealing with coming home to the girl with the hormones every single day. He was very aggressive towards me, and very abrasive. He never held back. He would be messaging other girls as i carried our child. He would say he loved me, but would tear me down any chance he would get. I know what you’re thinking…. why didn’t you leave? If only it were that easy. All I wanted to do was love him. And I didn’t understand what had changed between us and why he hated me so much? When the only person there for you, hates you, what do you do? 
Let me just tell you that there was so much in between that went on that I don’t even know where to begin. All I know is one day I started loving myself, and I’m pretty sure that’s where life began. I give all the glory to Jesus, and the son that He gave me, because the fact that somebody wakes up every day and needs you, and depends on you, and thinks you hung the dang moon all by yourself, well, how could you not feel important and special? AND, that person I mentioned that I’m engaged too? Yup. Same hateful freshman in high school, the father of my only son. Not trying to brag, but our relationship is one of the strongest I’ve ever witnessed. We’ve seen each other at our lowest, stuck through it, grew up, and we respect each other so much for never giving up on the other. We now have our own house, very good jobs for our age, wonderful relationships with our parents (ALL OF THEM) , and so much love in our household I can hardly take it all in. Everything happens for a reason~ I don’t think that people change, I simply believe that people grow. 
There is hope. Things do get better. The only way things won’t get better, is if you give up.-Ariana

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