Hello everyone!
I truly hope you are having an amazing holiday season filled with lots of joy. That is my hope for every single one of you. However, I’m aware that most of you probably struggle and so I wanted to come out and tell you of one big joy I’ve had this holiday season and one really big sorrow I’ve suffered as well. As you know, I have always been 110% honest with you guys and I’m not going to stop doing that now. I’m not going to sugar coat things and I’m not going to lie to you. I’m not sure if you remember this, but on my graduation day I said that something really heartbreaking happened and now I feel ready to talk about it. The backstory is that I hadn’t had a period for almost 3 months and but I had 2 periods after my boyfriend left in July and I knew I wasn’t pregnant from him. I had a really weird period type thing on my graduation day but it was not normal at all and I noticed something odd in my period but could not figure out what it was. It occurred to me later that day that I had a miscarriage. I did some research and found out that there is such a thing as a missed miscarriage. To put it simply, the baby can die but become attached to the wall of the uterus and, therefore, not come out. With this information I started to search my memory and realized that I don’t recall the baby from my last pregnancy every coming out when I miscarried. That would mean the baby was in my belly for around 4 years, which makes sense because what I saw in my period was black and that means it’s very, very old. After that incident, my period resumed the next months and has been normal. To be completely honest, I fell apart when I realized I miscarried. I about lost my mind. That was such a hard day for me, but eventually I came to peace with it. There was also something really exciting that happened this holiday season, too, I got the ring that my fiancé has been talking about forever! We have been engaged for a year (he asked me last December), but I got my ring on Christmas and we got to tell family and friends (which was painful and exciting at the same time haha…. got to love family 🙄). I posted a picture of the ring if you guys want to see! It’s SO beautiful! I have so much to be thankful for this holiday season and I’ve had to be really careful not to let annoyances, like family drama, keep me from having a nice time. I hope you can do the same 💜

Wishing you the very best,


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