For a long time I tried to blame others… Like my rapist…for my children dying. I tried to blame myself. But… Placing the blame on someone… Would be pointless. It was no one’s fault. God…simply had other plans. Deep down I know I could never give them the life that they have now… But I could’ve given them love… And somewhere… I would like to think that would’ve been enough. So, as I sit here contemplating whether or not I count as a mother, I have decided that I am, indeed, a mommy. Whew. That took my breath away. I am a mommy. Try saying that out loud if you have lost a child. I don’t care if you were 13 (like me) or 40, or somewhere in between. Say it with me. “I am a mommy.” Today will be hard, I know it… You know it, too. But we are still mothers.
If you are an unspoken mother… That has to spend today alone and hurting. Please send me a message and we can support each other. I would love to personally wish you a happy Mother’s Day… Because YOU DESERVE IT.
P.S. Icelyn, Maci, and Clark… I love you. You thawed my heart… And I’m trying to get it that way again. I know you don’t want mommy to be sad… But it’s hard because I want you here with me. You would be 3 years old this year. Wow…you’re so big now (,: I know… I know you don’t want me to cry so I should go now. But I need you to know that I love you more than you could ever know. I can’t wait to see you in heaven… Mommy loves you 💗💙💗